You know the saying...babies don't keep. It's oh so true.
Lately, more and more I find myself missing having a newborn around. A tiny little infant with a squishy little face who pretty much only eats, poops and sleeps but does it in the cutest way possible.
Am I crazy for missing having a baby around?? I'm sure others would say yes but I don't think so. I am the type of person who will always miss having babies around. I would have 10 kids if I knew 1. they would all be healthy 2. I would be ok through all pregnancies and deliveries and 3. we had the money to.
Don't get me wrong, I am LOVING this next season we are in. With Brayden, it's elementary school, homework, birthday parties with actual friends, tball league and soccer teams. Being able to have actual real conversations with him and see how much he is learning and thriving is really awesome.
And then there is Ella, who just started preschool. She seems so big to me yet still so little. I swear, she will forever seem 2 in my eyes.
Thankfully, I still have the best of both worlds because my littlest, Miss A, still depends and needs us for pretty much everything. But that little one is a baby no more; no, she is now a bossy little person who knows what she wants and when she wants it. She barely cuddles anymore and is all about getting into trouble with a capital T.
So yes, I am still deep in the throws of motherhood and raising these tiny little people I created, but I miss having a baby around, I really do.
Does this mean we will have another? The sad answer is probably no. We have not closed the door completely but I think my husband and I both know in our heads that we are done but neither of us can bring ourselves to actually say those words...we.are.done.
What I do know is this, when there is a void in my house when all the kids are in school, I know my Mama heart is going to ache so bad. I wish this season of our life would last forever, I really would love that.
*linking up with Our Pretty Little Girls
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Awww such a sweet and real post. I was in that limbo for years and even when I did finally come to the point where I knew we were done. Permanently closing the door is STILL something I can't commit to. I think its good to take time and slowly evaluate feelings on this stuff. It just seems wise.
ReplyDeleteOur door is closed and it's something we both have agreed on. I think the feelings you have about to close that chapter or not is how I would feel if I was to ever consider having another.
ReplyDeleteOh man, Lizzie, this made me tear up. I feel the same way. We are done as well and lately I have the worst baby fever. Every time I see one it just makes me ache. I don't feel like a part of our family is missing or anything... I feel like our family is complete, but it sure would be nice to smell that sweet scent of baby's breath again. :o(
ReplyDeleteI feel exactly the same as you! If my husband agreed I would definitely have another but I know we're done. It does make my heart ache!
ReplyDeleteYes, my Mama heart is already aching!!
DeleteSuch an honest post. I think I'll be right there with you soon! Although this will likely be our final baby, I'm just not sure how I'll feel about saying those words. And Craig is already talking about having his surgery next March...but I'm not sure I'm ready to take such drastic measures!!
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