Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Worry Worry Worry

I am a HUGE worrier - like borderline I question myself daily if I should seek help for it...(I'm only half kidding there)  I think I've always been a little bit of a worrier, but add bringing your very own tiny human(s) into the mix, and that has set my worry into overdrive.  I seriously worry about everything, and I am well aware that 99 % of the things I worry about are completely out of my control.  So why waste time worrying?? I WISH I KNEW. I wish I could tell myself to turn off the worry but I just can't.

I worry if my kids will stop breathing in the middle of the night
I worry that if my Mom doesn't answer her phone the first time I call that something is terribly wrong
I worry that my husband will get in a car accident on his way home from work
I worry about my kids getting sick, like really sick
I worry about my kids eating when I'm not around (what if they choke!?) 
I worry about my kids going out and about with anyone but myself or my hubby
I worry that I won't get to see my kids grow up and see them have kids
I worry when my husband calls me out of the blue that something is wrong with our kids
I worry about a plane crashing while myself or loved ones are on it
I worry about having another c-section

Well now you know I am borderline psycho! I mean who worries like this?! Clearly only a crazy person like myself.  

I think my worry is really setting in now that I'm so so close to having our 3rd baby.  I am definitely nervous/anxious to have another c-section, but I'm trying so hard not to let negative thoughts consume my mind.  I know this is routine and all will be fine, but part of me just can't fully believe that (for some crazy unknown reason that I wish I knew)

I have really tried to make an effort to worry less - I read a quote a while back that struck a cord with me

"Worrying is like praying for something bad to happen"

Well I sure as hell don't want anything bad to happen! So I need to turn these negative, worrying thoughts around and try to be more positive.  I am always seeing the doom and gloom in things (this is probably thanks to the internet and the abundance amount of sad/scary articles that are posted and that I just so happen to click on and read) 

I really am not a negative person contrary to the above. I think it's my worrying that really makes me appreciate what we have in this world, but I still know it is not healthy to worry to the extreme I do. 

I'm about to be a Mom to 3 little ones, I need to be a role model for them and I cannot live my life in fear of things I mostly cannot control.  I know this will take time but I really am going to make the extra effort. If I start to obsessively worry, I will try and turn it around into something positive.

Does anyone else worry this much? Or about things you just cannot control? Or am I the only looney bin out there? 

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