Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Mourning the loss

You know when it hits you? The thought of "I'm probably never going to have another baby" As most of you know, this is a thought I've been dealing with for a while now. We are pretty sure we are done, but every so often that thought pops into my head.

With that thought comes more thoughts. I start to realize all of the things I'm going to miss and that really, I'm mourning the loss of them

I'm mourning the loss of never having newborn snuggles again

I'm mourning the loss of never bringing another baby home and introducing him/her to its siblings

I'm mourning the loss of never using an infant bathtub again

I'm mourning the loss of never breastfeeding again

I'm mourning the loss of no more diapers

I'm mourning the loss of not using our highchair anymore (the same one all 3 kids have used)

I'm mourning the loss of the crib (which again, all 3 kids used and now has been converted to a full bed for Brayden)

I'm mourning the loss of never rocking another baby in our rocker

I'm mourning the loss of being pregnant

Even with all this mourning, I am so happy with where we all are. I really am. I love being a family of 5 so much. I think I am just that person who will always miss having a baby. Like I'll probably be 50 with baby fever!

But for now, I'm choosing to focus on the 5 of us and enjoying these days (which I know for a fact are the best days)

Flashback picture of when we became a family of 5 - one of my favorites 

Image may contain: 4 people, people smiling, people sitting

*linking up with Jessi's Design Lindsays Sweet World


  1. Such a sweet post, funny enough I have been thinking about this a lot because my sister is pregnant for the first time so I am walking through all those emotions with her. We have one more baby to hold here but I am mourning missing all of his teeny tiny moments :) xoxo ERIN

  2. I am going through the same thing right now. It really is a difficult to accept!

  3. I’m right there with you, in my 40’s and I still have baby fever and up until a year ago kept telling Mr. Nine I wanted another but we too have a family of 5 and it’s just right! xoxo

  4. Lizzie, this post has me in tears. I get so sad over the fact of not having another baby. Mourning is the correct word. I feel your pain AND I feel your happiness. My babies made me a better person. They brought out an inner strength I didn't know existed, not to mention to know what true love feels and looks like. Thanks for posting this. It makes me feel like I'm not alone with these crazy feelings. Hugs.

  5. Oh, this. This. SO many feels. We're on the fence right now about a third, and the thought of never having newborn snuggles, cuddles, and all those firsts again is the driving force behind me considering one more! Love the authenticity of this!

  6. It's so true! It's hard (yet amazing) to watch your kiddos grow into awesome people but, oh, there's just something about having a baby around that gives you all the feels!

  7. I am currently struggling with this. Thank you so much for posting.

  8. Ugh, as much as I say that we're done I will ALWAYS have that thought in the back of my head. It is SO HARD to accept the fact that I will never hold my own newborn again.

  9. Yup! I am reading all of these comments and feeling so relieved that it is not just me. I actually just had a heart to heart about this with Russ the other week. On one hand I don't want to have another baby, like at all. But I kind of wonder if I will regret not. If that makes any sense...

  10. For me, I don't miss these things and that's how I know I don't want another baby! I love my friends' and family members' babies, but I'm done with all the baby stuff in my house.

  11. As much as I love having just one, I have these same thoughts from time to time. I pray each time that sadness hits. That Christ will lift me through it because like you said, it's a deep mourning at times.
    Hugs friend! I hope you see what a beautiful family you have. It's perfect. And there's nothing ever wrong with being a Grandma with baby fever. Those are the best kinds of Mammaws :)

  12. This is such a great post, Lizzie. I love your openness and can relate to how hard it is to let go of some of those amazing times. Both of the boys are getting bigger and I have so many thoughts of what if it never happens again. This throwback pic is also adorable! Sierra~Beautifully Candid

  13. You can have Mackenzie ANY time you want!!! HAHAHAHHAHA