Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Happy 5th Birthday Brayden Lee

(meant to post on his actual birthday July 12th)

Brayden Lee,

HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY!!

I truly and honestly cannot believe you, my firstborn, my son, are 5. I am extremely emotional about this birthday because while you are growing and thriving, I can just feel things are different. It's been a long time coming, the past months have had less hugs, less kisses, less cuddles, and really, it sucks. I know you can't stay my baby forever (obviously I will always think you are though) but this 5th birthday is really pulling at my heartstrings.

Even though the toddler years are now behind us and I can't go around kissing and hugging you 1000 times a day like I use to, we are still so so close.  I love that we have such a special bond, and I pray this will continue all through your life.  It literally brings tears to my eyes when I think about you being older and not wanting anything to do with me. When I start to think like that my inner voice tells me to shut up since obviously that is a long time away and there is no need to worry about that now, but if you know your Mama, you know that I worry and that will probably never change (sorry)

I love how you still blow me kisses at the most random times, how you tell me you love me out of nowhere, or when you come up to me and say you just want a big hug.  These things melt my heart my dear and I am going to hold onto what is left of our emotional/physical connection for as long as I possibly can!

You are such an amazing little boy! Seriously, you are so fun to be around (most of the time, he he) you are always trying to make me laugh or pulling some kind of joke on someone! You love to learn and you have become so outgoing this past year. Preschool really did so much for you in that aspect and I couldn't be happier.  I just LOVE seeing your confidence shine through and each day I see a little more come out.

You are still my sensitive boy though. If things don't go exactly as you want, you get upset really fast. These are things we are constantly working on with you. although, if I'm being honest, you definitely get this quality from me. We are alot alike in that we both love to plan out things in our heads and when they don't go exactly how we envisioned them, we get upset... let's work on this one together :)

You love to get your way (what kid doesn't?!) and you are always trying to be the boss of Ella, that poor girl! You are such a good big brother, you are always watching out for the girls and really do try and help enforce the rules and I love you for that, but there's a fine line where you always cross and you try to act like Ella's Daddy and we are still trying to work though that too, but I'm pretty sure this is just normal big brother/little sister stuff..or at least I hope.

While you and Ella may have your moments, you still do love her so and when you two get along nothing makes me happier! You are such a sweetheart to Avery. You always make sure she has her toys, her pillow behind her in case she falls, if her bottle falls out you help give it back to her, if she is crying, you run up to her saying "Avery, Avery, I'm here!!" and you hang out with her to calm her down.  I am so PROUD of the big brother role you have taken on.  I know it isn't easy sharing the attention of me with your siblings and you really have worked through pretty well.

You remember EVERYTHING. Your Papa thinks you will be an engineer because your wheels are always turning. I can tell you what we will be doing next Friday on a Monday and you will come up to me on that Friday and say I thought you said we were doing ____ today. It's crazy the attention you pay to little details. You pick out things no one else even notices.  I think this is a good trait

We still have a night time routine although not to quite the extent it use to be. I usually read you a story or two, then you always ask me to lay with you and for me to do the up and down, which is me running my nails softly over your tummy, up and down :) I ask you if you'll always want me to lay with you and you say Yes, always!! But little do you know that will not always be the case, which is why I so enjoy these moments now and never take them for granted.

Well my Brayden, this is it, you are now 5, one whole hand. I cannot wait to watch you grow and thrive this year. I love you more than you will ever know baby boy.

Love,
Mommy


I love you!!!!



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